New Girls' Network

How many times do you have to prove your competence before it’s not just a fluke?

When we look at CEOs, at law firm partners, or at engineers, we quite literally see men – because that’s who’s in those positions. And because we get used to seeing men there, most of us automatically think of a man when we think of a successful professional. As a result, it takes more to convince people of women’s competence, while men receive the benefit of the doubt.

• In a hiring-committee meeting, all of the male candidates are described as having high potential, and all the female candidates are dismissed for their lack of experience.
• Agnes and Bert are law firm associates working together on a big filing, and neither notices that the judge’s name is spelled wrong. In their next review, Agnes is criticized for her lack of attention to detail, and Bert is praised for the subtlety of his argument.
• Samantha brings up a good idea in a meeting. No one pays attention to it – until her co-worker Joe brings up the same thought and gets all the credit.

• Get over yourself:

  If you explain away your successes and internalize your failures, it’s much easier for others to do the same. Doubt yourself and others will doubt you; be confident and it will increase others’ confidence in you.

• Actually prove it again:

  It’s not the most fun thing to hear, but we’re going to tell you anyway. Sometimes the only effective way to succeed is to prove yourself again and again. But know your limits. The only thing more important than giving it your all is making sure you have something left over for yourself.

• Offer information that trumps the stereotype:

  When we have relatively little information about people, we tend to depend heavily on stereotypes to describe them. The better we know someone individually, the more certain stereotypes (thought not all of them) fade into the background.

• Address the bias:

  Defending yourself against bias calmly and competently can be extremely effective. Try to appeal to people’s sense of fairness (“We should be judging everyone on the same standard”) rather than criticizing them for being unfair.

• Build a valuable specialty:

  Having a specialty – and excelling at it – is a great way to make yourself known both inside and outside the office. If you have a skill that others need, and a reputation for being good at it, you’re going to be valuable regardless of your gender.